After my dear wife’s death I was crushed with the guilt of regrets, things I should have done and didn’t, and things I didn’t do and should have. But after reading scholarly C.S. Lewis and the godly country preacher Vance Havner, concerning their wives death, I found It was a normal thing. That is, something all experience when losing a loved one.
But knowing this didn’t bring peace of soul and mind. The nagging continued. It was then I knew like all sins, faults, and failures, it must be put under the blood of Christ. And so late one night in the darkness of our front room I knelt by my prayer chair and did business with my God. I confessed it, with no intention of doing it again. Knowing, with our merciful God once is enough. Joseph wept when his brothers asked forgiveness a second time, when he had obviously did it earlier. (Gen. 50:17)
As I was about to rise, having settled the matter, I said to myself, “I wish Salle was here so I could ask her forgiveness.” And then the Lord spoke, to my heart, and said, “She is right behind me.” O, the thrill, to know after God she was second in line to forgive me, as she always was while here on earth. God help each of us, when loved ones truly repent, to be second in line to forgive.
“If you’re unforgiving to yourself, you’ll be that way toward others.”
(rds)
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